A kiss is not a contract
But it’s very nice
Mmmmm, very nice
Just because you’ve been exploring my
mouth
Doesn’t mean you get to take an
expedition further south, no

Because I’m only one man, baby
We’re only two men now, ladies
Babies. Pretty babies.

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Post from: Conchord Crazy

No longer is the folk duo to be alone in this great episode, “Girlfriends.” And who’d have thought it would have started because Jemaine needed a wingman in his pursuit of a croissant? Anyway, the two walk into a bakery, see two lovely ladies, and start imagining in French….and technicolor….and 60s Laugh-In camp-ish style. Awesome.

Bret and Jemaine decide to take them on a date, and Jemaine decides to switch girls, while Bret does well with both. Jemaine just can’t catch a break, can he? Once Bret switches, he starts to really hit it off with his new girl, but then she starts pressuring him to do things that he doesn’t wanna do. (You know what I’m talking about…) This is when we find out Bret is a virgin! Woahhhhzors! She finally gets him to do the deed by telling him that she’s shipping out to Iraq the next day, but after it’s all said and done, he sees her in the bakery the very next morning. Owch.

It was a hard lesson to learn, but at least Bret ends the episode a wiser and more aged man. Jemaine, on the other hand, doesn’t get any, although he remains the big-talker we know and love.

Songs featured in this episode: “Foux De Fa Fa” (which I spell different every time, sorry) and “A Kiss Is Not A Contract.”

Click here for the photo source and HBO’s synopsis.

Post from: Conchord Crazy

I know, I know, that question is on the minds of everyone today. Never to fear, I have posted surefire songs that you can sing to your Valentine to elicit the response you want. (Not licensed to actually recommend songs, actual results may vary.)

• Business Time
  • When to Sing it: I think you know the answer to this. It is especially good for married couples or people who own oversized T-shirts and business socks.
  • How to Sing it: Channel Barry White. Make Jemaine proud.
  • Expected Response: It will be intense. In which direction, that I cannot predict for you.
• If You’re Into It
  • When to Sing it: If you haven’t been dating for all that long, and you’re not sure what they want from you, this is a good way to ask the question in song, and based on the reaction, you’ll be able to plan your next move for the romantic Valentine’s Day of her dreams.
  • How to Sing it: Sweet and cute, as to not come on too strong. If there’s a toy piano around, that could help the situation.
  • Expected Response: They will either think you are joking and just think you’re the funniest Valentine ever, or they will take you very seriously and get very turned on by this song. This is probably a win-win situation, so congrats for picking this tune.
• A Kiss Is Not A Contract
  • When To Sing it: You’re in a relationship, but you don’t want to be, and you decided that Valentine’s Day was the right day to put that plan into action. You’re an idiot. Okay, or, if you’re someone who doesn’t want to give it all up to a girl..or a guy, whatever, and you are not confident enough to express it in spoken words. This is also a good choice for you.
  • How to Sing it: Laying in a bed of flowers spinning and rotating and very mellow.
  • Expected Response: Probably anger. Don’t be near anything breakable or potentially pain-inducing.

These three songs really run the gamut of Valentine’s Day situations, in my opinion. If you have one to add, let me know!

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Post from: Conchord Crazy