(Murray)

Goodbye
Goodbye, leggy blonde
Every day I’d look across the office floor
There you were your hair down to your legs
And your legs down to the floor
Leggy blonde, goodbye
Goodbye
Now that you are gone I’ll never see you here for tech repair
I wish you knew how much I loved your legs and your hair
Leggy blonde, goodbye
Goodbye

(Alternating Jemaine, Bret, Murray)

Leggy leggy leggy leggy
Leggy leggy leggy leggy
Leggy leggy leggy leggy
Leggy leggy leggy leggy
Blondie blondie blondie blondie
Blondie blondie blondie blondie
Blondie blondie blondie blondie
Blondie blondie

(Murray)

Leggy blonde
Goodbye
Goodbye
I had a budgie but it died
(whoa)
I like pie

(Murray/Jemaine/Bret)
Leggy leggy leggy leggy
Leggy leggy leggy leggy
Leggy leggy leggy leggy
Leggy leggy leggy leggy
Blondie blondie blondie blondie
Blondie blondie blondie blondie
Blondie blondie blondie blondie
Blondie blondie

(Murray)

Leggy blonde
I’ll never get
I’ll never get to be with ya
I’ll never get to share another cup of tea with ya
I’ll never get to let ya know how much I think of ya
I’ll never get to tear your clothes off on the photocopier

(Bret/Jemaine)

He’ll never get
He’ll never get
He’ll never get
He’ll never get to say

(Jemaine)
Oooh leggy blonde you got it goin’ on
Wanna see you wearin’ that thong thong thong
See you getting’ on to the break of dawn
(Mumbling) panties on

(Murray)

Goodbye
Goodbye, leggy blonde

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Post from: Conchord Crazy

This episode….honestly….a perfect example of how FotC hits issues, but in the most indirect, bizarre, innocent, hilarious way. Seriously, who thought they would run into a man that had a prejudice against New Zealanders? It is the ideal episode for talking about racism, but not offending that many people….except for those near that continent that nobody pays a lot of attention to…so like it matters, right?

Anyway, “Drive By” is all about this man that sells fruit near Bret and Jemaine’s apartment, and he doesn’t want to sell it to them because he has a problem with people from New Zealand. It’s the first time the duo has encountered racism in New York, although Murray is no stranger to it, as he talks about how he is called “ginger balls” all the time….actually by Bret, but why get into semantics, right?

So, the two are obviously hurt by this, I mean, who wouldn’t be upset about people not liking them for no reason whatsoever, yeah? Luckily, Dave is there to offer some help. He gives Bret and Jemaine lessons in flipping the bird, which they don’t understand, because they think it would look better with wings. I tend to agree with them on this one, however, I’m probably not going to put it into practice, because nobody would know what the heck I was doing.

The B story in this episode is also phenomenal, with the leggy blonde tech girl that Murray falls in love with. He comes up with all kinds of reasons to get her to help him, and all of a sudden, her work is done and she is never to return again. This is when the song “Leggy Blonde” plays, one of my favorites to date, and something that I sing with my boyfriend a lot. I dare you to not find singing the word “leggy” repeatedly enjoyable.

The other songs in this episode are “Albi the Racist Dragon” and “Mutha Uckas.” Oh yes, every title is gold.

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Post from: Conchord Crazy

Alright, kiddoes, sorry it took so long for me to deliver this one, but I really wanted to make it good. However, I’m not sure all this time really improved it, because once again, I am writing this away from my DVDs, but I will do the very best I can at the synopsis, and you can add to it if you wish. Seriously, criticize away, folks!

So, in this episode, Murray starts out by doing a photo shoot with the boys. However, he’s having a problem photographing Bret because he thinks he looks too small. This is when we see the dramatic descent into Bret’s body image problem, which Jemaine mistakes as bulimia. One of my favorite parts in the episode is actually when Jemaine talks to Bret about that one time they went to a party, and the next day he said that Bret was “a little bulimic.” Good stuff.

Now, you might be getting sad, thinking, oh, poor Bret, he’s got to deal with his body image issues all alone. Never to fear, FotC fans, because David Bowie has come to the rescue. Bret is visited in his sleep several times by David Bowie, in many different stages of his career, and looking mysteriously like Jemaine. He tells Bret to do things like wear an eyepatch, basically things to make his mark and feel better about who he is.

This all seems kind of weird in the middle of the episode, but it pays off in the end, when they have a meeting with a greeting card company regarding the use of the song “Robots” in one of the cards. Bret does something very…revealing…to say the least. This episode is disgustingly funny, especially for David Bowie fans, so be sure to check it out.

Songs in the episode are “Bret, You’ve Got it Going On” and “Bowie.” Once again, many apologies for  the oh-so-heinous delay.

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Post from: Conchord Crazy

(Bret McKenzie + Alcohol = Bretaholic??? Well, if you were a real Bretaholic, you’d know that after beer, Bret really has the urge to pee, and that he actually doesn’t like it, but will drink it if the female fans he’s around are pretty enough. If you didn’t know this, maybe you shouldn’t even take the quiz, methinks.s

Well, are you? Take this quiz I just found to find out for sure! I actually scored a 21, sadly, meaning I am not an official Bretaholic, but take the test for yourself and find out. Post your results here!

CLICK HERE AND TAKE THE BRETAHOLIC QUIZ!!!

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Post from: Conchord Crazy

So, I know I missed the Episode of the Day, but that’s only momentarily, as I have to re-watch it to give a more thorough synopsis. So, for the time being, read the lyrics to the song “Bowie” and be inspired to think about your own ideas for what Episode 6 is like….or something like that. Forgive my laziness and enjoy this song.

Bowie’s in space
Bowie’s in space
Whatcha doin’ out there man?
That’s pretty freaky, Bowie.
What’s a rock musician doing out in space man?
Isn’t it cold, quite cold out there Bowie?
Do you need my jumper Bowie?
Does the space cold do funny things to your nipples, making them all pointy?
Bowie.
Do you use your pointy nipples as telescopic antennae transmitting data back to Earth?
Data back to Earth d-d-do, d-d-do, do do
I bet you do you freaky old bastard you

Is it lonely out there in space man, or is there life on Mars? Wouldn’t that be weird coz you wrote that song, ‘Is There Life on Mars’. You could write a follow up tune and call it ‘And There Is’

Mmmm, and there is yes there is.
There’s heaps of it and it’s all freaking out at my new look.
Bowie do you have one really funky sequined space suit, Bowie?
Or do you have several ch-ch-ch-ch- changes?
Space changes
Do they smoke grass out there in space man, or do they smoke Astroturf?

Receiving transmission from David Bowie’s nipple antennae. Do you read me, Lieutenant Bowie?

This is Bowie to Bowie, do you hear me out there man?
This is Bowie back to Bowie I read you loud and clear, man.
Oooh yeah man!
Your signal is weak on my radar screen. How far out are you man?
I’m pretty far out
That’s pretty far out man
I’m orbiting Pluto!
Drawn in by its grooveatational (grooveatational) pull
I’m jamming out with the Mick Jaggernauts
And they think it’s pretty cool, man.

Are you ok Bowie? What was that sound?
I don’t know man, I’ll have to turn my ship around.
Oh it’s the craziest thing
Yeah, I’m picking it up on my LSD screen.
Oooh, but can you see the stratosphere, ringing?
To the choir of Afronauts singing

Eeniee e ma ma meenie miny moey
Set your phasers on funky
Eeniee ma ma meenie miny moey
Pippew, pipew pipew, pew
Eenie, ma ma meenie minie miny moey
B-b-b-b Bowies in…..

Best things about this song: Nipple antennae, of course. Also, the fact that it’s about David Bowie. Also, that they slip his song references all up in this doohickey. Okay, and, also, because they’re in space. There really are no missteps in this song. It’s superb.

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Post from: Conchord Crazy

(A picture of a couch….for the couch interview….enjoy!)

This is probably one of the more hilarious podcasts available on iTunes, so def give it a download. It’s only a minute long, too, but worth every second, seriously. The duo is sitting on a couch, talking about the show, kind of an introduction to the first season, and Jemaine demonstrates how he goes in and out of character, and let me tell you, it’s quite a difference. Bret also asks that you don’t come up to him on the street and expect him to be like his character, although it’s based on him and it’s his…name. But yeah, good times, funny as always, great short podcast, and worth a chuckle if you think you’ve seen all there is to see about FotC, but don’t have the iTunes subscription yet, which you really have no excuse for, ’cause it’s free.

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Post from: Conchord Crazy

Ohhhh yes, this very well could be one of the best songs known to man. Needless to say, it’s tops in my book for a song about “Gettin’ it on.” It’s a lot more realistic than Lou Rawls or Barry White wanted to get. That’s really what makes it awesome. Anyway, the lyrics are below and my comments follow….

Jemaine:

Uhhhhh
Girl, tonight we’re gonna make love
You know how I know?
Because it’s Wednesday
And Wednesday night is the night that we usually make love
Tuesday night is the night that we usually go to your mother’s place an I show her how to use the video machine again
But Wednesday night is the night that we make love
It’s when everything is just right
You’re not too tired from your afterwork social netball team practice
There’s nothing good on TV
Mmm, conditions are perfect for making love
You turn to me and say something sexy like, “I might go to bed. I’ve got work in the morning.”
I know what you’re trying to say baby, you’re trying to say “Aww yeah, it’s business time.”

It’s business
It’s business time
I know what you’re trying to say you’re trying to say it’s time for business and it’s business time ooh
It’s business
It’s business time
Aww aww yeah yeah

The next thing you know we’re in the bathroom brushing our teeth
That’s all part of it, that’s foreplay
Foreplay is very important in lovemaking
Then you go sort out the recycling, which isn’t part of the foreplay, but it’s still very important
That’s not foreplay, but it’s still very important

The next think you know we’re in the bedroom
You’re wearin’ that same old ugly baggy T-shirt with the stain on it that you got from that team-building exercise you did for your old work several years ago
“Team Building Exercise ‘99.”

I take off my clothes
But I trip over my jeans ’cause I’m still wearing my shoes
But it’s okay because I turn it all into a sexy dance

The next think you know, I’m wearing absolutely nothing except for my socks
And you know when I’m down to my socks what time it is
It’s business time

It’s business
It’s business time
When I’m down to my socks it’s time for business tha’s why they’re called business socks, ooh
It’s business
It’s business time
Aww aww yeah yeah

Making love
Making love for
Making love for two
Making love for two minutes

When it’s with me, you only need two minutes girl, ’cause I’m so intense
Two minutes in heaven is better than one minute in heaven

You turn to me and say something sexy like, “Is that it?”
I know what you’re trying to say, girl, you’re trying to say, “Aw yeah, that’s it”
And then you tell me you want some more, well, uh, I’m not surprised
But I am quite sleepy

Mmm
It’s business
It’s business time
Business hours are over, baby
It’s business
It’s business time

So yeah, needless to say, this song was as phenomenon at my school. Everyone knew it, seemingly, even if they hadn’t seen the show before, so it’s a great song to introduce to people to get them interested in FotC. It will work, I promise you. A lot of my college friends are living proof that “Business Time” brings people together in the unifying love that is Flight of the Conchords. Also, this is a killer awesome song for you to listen to with your significant other. My boyfriend and I sing it to each other all the time. Just, you know, if you catch them wearing business socks, let them know that the song has influenced them too much, and in a bad way. Yeah.

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Post from: Conchord Crazy

Once again, if you’d like the HBO Synopsis (and the link to this picture) click here. My synopsis follows….the better synopsis. Kind of like pork is the other white meat. Except I don’t eat pork. And they say other, and not better. Okay, so my reference sucks, but my summary is better, I promise!

So, this is the oh-so-rare occasion where I’m not actually watching the episode to give a synopsis, so I’ll do this the best I can with what I remember. It’s been a while since we’ve seen Sally, and all of a sudden, she’s back and Jemaine sees her in a laundromat. They start talking a bit, and Sally mentions how she wants to settle down someday. This is when “Business Time” starts, one of the greatest songs in the Conchords repertoire. Jemaine is imagining his life with Sally, and it’s definitely a typical, realistic view of what happens after two people are married after a while….or at least, what everyone dreads is going to happen, however, Jemaine seems to idealize this idea.

The two start hanging out again, but Sally insists that Jemaine needs to get his own place and not live with Bret anymore, so he does just that. He moves into a very swanky apartment complex….although his apartment isn’t quite matching the building. He actually moves into a janitor’s closet. Jemaine later talks about hosting a party on the weekend.

Bret gets, well, let’s say, miffed at all these new arrangements. First of all, Jemaine has left him to move somewhere else, and the other reason is Sally, whom Bret dated for like 6 months. He starts to get jealous and shows his feelings for Sally, although he’s still dating Coco. Sally’s birthday is coming up, so Bret and Jemaine both compete to make something that Sally will love. Bret comes up with a song, Jemaine comes up with an amazing paper cut-out card. The two upgrade from there, until it gets to a pebble with Sally’s name on it and a glass butterfly.

Sadly, the competition backfires, although it’s well-displayed in the gifts and in the song “Sally, I Love You,” where Jemaine echoes all of Bret’s sentiments. It turns out that Sally has a boyfriend, a fiance, actually, and worst of all, he’s Australian. Coco also breaks up with Bret because it’s obvious to her that he still has feelings for Sally. The break-up is actually conveyed through Jemaine, and is undeniably the best conversation in the episode.

So, that’s the best I can come up with from memory. If there’s a part of the episode that I forgot and you love it, correct me and add it in a comment. I know that my mind isn’t perfect, but I think I hit just about everything. Oh, also, I love Rachel Blanchard. You should too.

Post from: Conchord Crazy

Alright, it’s the wrong day, but I’m catching up. Here is an introductory podcast about FotC and the music that they play on their show. They feature clips from songs like “The Most Beautiful Girl,” “Inner City Pressure,” and “Robots.”

Other things featured: Different percussion instruments, “New Zealand likes to rock the party,” and one fantastic buildup. It’s a little corny, noted, but it’s also lots o’ fun and a great little tidbit on the kind of things you’ll hear if you watch the show. If you haven’t already, maybe this will be what finally convinces you? I am determined to catch each and every one of you if it kills me! So yeah, check this out, subscribe to it on iTunes if you haven’t already, and catch all the free hilarity for yourself!

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Post from: Conchord Crazy

Once again, for the HBO synopsis, click here. For my much more awesome synopsis, read below.

So, the episode starts with a proposition for a great tour of band rotundas by Murray. However, Bret isn’t having it because he’s going on a date with Coco, his new girlfriend. Jemaine tries to get out of it saying he met a girl at the video library, but Murray got him, clever Murray, since there’s no such thing as a video library.

We then get to see Bret and his ladyfriend at her apartment, wit the deliciously awkward ending to their date, where we find out that Jemaine has joined on in the date. It is a continuing theme during the episode hereafter. Sad, sad, Jemaine.

The next day we see the guys at the apartment where Bret sings his song for Coco to Jemaine. It’s two hours long, so Jemaine suggests that Bret shorten it, and also make it more realistic, to things that he would actually do instead of saying that he’d do things like climb the highest mountain and race the fastest animal. This is what gives birth to “If You’re Into It,” which is disputably my favorite song thus far.

You also get to see a fan club meeting in the episode, which is Mel….and that’s it. Murray provides pictures for the newsletter, including one that just “slipped in” with the others of him shirtless. Needless to say, Mel wasn’t interested. However, she was very interested in the fact that Bret had a girlfriend, so much that she broke her pencil in hidden anger. Never ceasing to put the “fan” in “fanatically crazy woman,” this may be Mel’s best display of fan obsession so far.

So, after the song “If You’re Into It,” there is a small montage of the Jemaine tag-along-ness, and Bret finally telling him he’s got to cut it out. This makes Jeamine mad and he calls her “Yoko” and slips “Ono” into his conversation during a band meeting. It ends with Bret throwing a sandwich at Jemaine’s face, which, quite honestly, made me explode with laughter.

Don’t despair about this discord, however, folks, because luckily there is a song to bring everyone together at the end….like tape does. Ironically and appropriately, the song sings about tape, and is even called “Sello Tape,” so you really can’t be confused by the meaning of the song or the imagery that is employed.

This is a great episode, fun had by all, please watch it and love it and tell me how you feel about it as well.

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