I know, I know, that question is on the minds of everyone today. Never to fear, I have posted surefire songs that you can sing to your Valentine to elicit the response you want. (Not licensed to actually recommend songs, actual results may vary.)

• Business Time
  • When to Sing it: I think you know the answer to this. It is especially good for married couples or people who own oversized T-shirts and business socks.
  • How to Sing it: Channel Barry White. Make Jemaine proud.
  • Expected Response: It will be intense. In which direction, that I cannot predict for you.
• If You’re Into It
  • When to Sing it: If you haven’t been dating for all that long, and you’re not sure what they want from you, this is a good way to ask the question in song, and based on the reaction, you’ll be able to plan your next move for the romantic Valentine’s Day of her dreams.
  • How to Sing it: Sweet and cute, as to not come on too strong. If there’s a toy piano around, that could help the situation.
  • Expected Response: They will either think you are joking and just think you’re the funniest Valentine ever, or they will take you very seriously and get very turned on by this song. This is probably a win-win situation, so congrats for picking this tune.
• A Kiss Is Not A Contract
  • When To Sing it: You’re in a relationship, but you don’t want to be, and you decided that Valentine’s Day was the right day to put that plan into action. You’re an idiot. Okay, or, if you’re someone who doesn’t want to give it all up to a girl..or a guy, whatever, and you are not confident enough to express it in spoken words. This is also a good choice for you.
  • How to Sing it: Laying in a bed of flowers spinning and rotating and very mellow.
  • Expected Response: Probably anger. Don’t be near anything breakable or potentially pain-inducing.

These three songs really run the gamut of Valentine’s Day situations, in my opinion. If you have one to add, let me know!

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Post from: Conchord Crazy

Gotta love CafePress, all those awesome shirts designed by people who are creative or just avid fans or whatever. Anyway, since the episode I featured this week was “Sally Returns,” I thought I’d feature a t-shirt from that episode, regarding the song “Business Time.”  If you can’t read the little print on the shirt, it says,” Conditions are perfect for making love.” It’s definitely the best shirt to wear on Wednesday that I can think of. However, if a shirt isn’t something you’re into, you can get this design on so many other things, from boxers to a tracksuit, even baby gear, hats, mugs, anything you can think of. Click here to view the designs and buy today! This  particular item is on sale for under 20 bucks! What a deal! I think I’m gonna buy myself a mug so I can blog with my morning coffee and be inspired while I sip….

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Post from: Conchord Crazy

Ohhhh yes, this very well could be one of the best songs known to man. Needless to say, it’s tops in my book for a song about “Gettin’ it on.” It’s a lot more realistic than Lou Rawls or Barry White wanted to get. That’s really what makes it awesome. Anyway, the lyrics are below and my comments follow….

Jemaine:

Uhhhhh
Girl, tonight we’re gonna make love
You know how I know?
Because it’s Wednesday
And Wednesday night is the night that we usually make love
Tuesday night is the night that we usually go to your mother’s place an I show her how to use the video machine again
But Wednesday night is the night that we make love
It’s when everything is just right
You’re not too tired from your afterwork social netball team practice
There’s nothing good on TV
Mmm, conditions are perfect for making love
You turn to me and say something sexy like, “I might go to bed. I’ve got work in the morning.”
I know what you’re trying to say baby, you’re trying to say “Aww yeah, it’s business time.”

It’s business
It’s business time
I know what you’re trying to say you’re trying to say it’s time for business and it’s business time ooh
It’s business
It’s business time
Aww aww yeah yeah

The next thing you know we’re in the bathroom brushing our teeth
That’s all part of it, that’s foreplay
Foreplay is very important in lovemaking
Then you go sort out the recycling, which isn’t part of the foreplay, but it’s still very important
That’s not foreplay, but it’s still very important

The next think you know we’re in the bedroom
You’re wearin’ that same old ugly baggy T-shirt with the stain on it that you got from that team-building exercise you did for your old work several years ago
“Team Building Exercise ‘99.”

I take off my clothes
But I trip over my jeans ’cause I’m still wearing my shoes
But it’s okay because I turn it all into a sexy dance

The next think you know, I’m wearing absolutely nothing except for my socks
And you know when I’m down to my socks what time it is
It’s business time

It’s business
It’s business time
When I’m down to my socks it’s time for business tha’s why they’re called business socks, ooh
It’s business
It’s business time
Aww aww yeah yeah

Making love
Making love for
Making love for two
Making love for two minutes

When it’s with me, you only need two minutes girl, ’cause I’m so intense
Two minutes in heaven is better than one minute in heaven

You turn to me and say something sexy like, “Is that it?”
I know what you’re trying to say, girl, you’re trying to say, “Aw yeah, that’s it”
And then you tell me you want some more, well, uh, I’m not surprised
But I am quite sleepy

Mmm
It’s business
It’s business time
Business hours are over, baby
It’s business
It’s business time

So yeah, needless to say, this song was as phenomenon at my school. Everyone knew it, seemingly, even if they hadn’t seen the show before, so it’s a great song to introduce to people to get them interested in FotC. It will work, I promise you. A lot of my college friends are living proof that “Business Time” brings people together in the unifying love that is Flight of the Conchords. Also, this is a killer awesome song for you to listen to with your significant other. My boyfriend and I sing it to each other all the time. Just, you know, if you catch them wearing business socks, let them know that the song has influenced them too much, and in a bad way. Yeah.

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Post from: Conchord Crazy

So, I got this video in an email Mike sent me, and it was seriously great. It’s very very recent, so that’s the most exciting thing probably. The duo actually played at Comcast’s presentation at the Consumer Electronics Show. It was from January 7-10 of this year in Las Vegas. Proof that it is actually very recent? Jemaine makes the crack that something is as obsolete as a 2007 calendar. For a place with 1.7 million net sq. feet of space to use for the show, it’s really nice that they set aside some space for Flight of the Conchords.

Some features of their presentation? Bret shows you his awesome camera phone hybrid with a television and perhaps some more things. The camera phone was actually featured in the third episode of the season, “Mugged.”Some other things you might what to know about the CES convention: Bill Gates was there…and played with Slash. Yoko Ono showed up, as well as a lot of high-falluting techiezors. The site for the show itself is worth checking out after this video, so click here to go there and be up on all your technological mumbo jumbo.Photo Source

Post from: Conchord Crazy