This episode….honestly….a perfect example of how FotC hits issues, but in the most indirect, bizarre, innocent, hilarious way. Seriously, who thought they would run into a man that had a prejudice against New Zealanders? It is the ideal episode for talking about racism, but not offending that many people….except for those near that continent that nobody pays a lot of attention to…so like it matters, right?

Anyway, “Drive By” is all about this man that sells fruit near Bret and Jemaine’s apartment, and he doesn’t want to sell it to them because he has a problem with people from New Zealand. It’s the first time the duo has encountered racism in New York, although Murray is no stranger to it, as he talks about how he is called “ginger balls” all the time….actually by Bret, but why get into semantics, right?

So, the two are obviously hurt by this, I mean, who wouldn’t be upset about people not liking them for no reason whatsoever, yeah? Luckily, Dave is there to offer some help. He gives Bret and Jemaine lessons in flipping the bird, which they don’t understand, because they think it would look better with wings. I tend to agree with them on this one, however, I’m probably not going to put it into practice, because nobody would know what the heck I was doing.

The B story in this episode is also phenomenal, with the leggy blonde tech girl that Murray falls in love with. He comes up with all kinds of reasons to get her to help him, and all of a sudden, her work is done and she is never to return again. This is when the song “Leggy Blonde” plays, one of my favorites to date, and something that I sing with my boyfriend a lot. I dare you to not find singing the word “leggy” repeatedly enjoyable.

The other songs in this episode are “Albi the Racist Dragon” and “Mutha Uckas.” Oh yes, every title is gold.

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Once again, if you’d like the HBO Synopsis (and the link to this picture) click here. My synopsis follows….the better synopsis. Kind of like pork is the other white meat. Except I don’t eat pork. And they say other, and not better. Okay, so my reference sucks, but my summary is better, I promise!

So, this is the oh-so-rare occasion where I’m not actually watching the episode to give a synopsis, so I’ll do this the best I can with what I remember. It’s been a while since we’ve seen Sally, and all of a sudden, she’s back and Jemaine sees her in a laundromat. They start talking a bit, and Sally mentions how she wants to settle down someday. This is when “Business Time” starts, one of the greatest songs in the Conchords repertoire. Jemaine is imagining his life with Sally, and it’s definitely a typical, realistic view of what happens after two people are married after a while….or at least, what everyone dreads is going to happen, however, Jemaine seems to idealize this idea.

The two start hanging out again, but Sally insists that Jemaine needs to get his own place and not live with Bret anymore, so he does just that. He moves into a very swanky apartment complex….although his apartment isn’t quite matching the building. He actually moves into a janitor’s closet. Jemaine later talks about hosting a party on the weekend.

Bret gets, well, let’s say, miffed at all these new arrangements. First of all, Jemaine has left him to move somewhere else, and the other reason is Sally, whom Bret dated for like 6 months. He starts to get jealous and shows his feelings for Sally, although he’s still dating Coco. Sally’s birthday is coming up, so Bret and Jemaine both compete to make something that Sally will love. Bret comes up with a song, Jemaine comes up with an amazing paper cut-out card. The two upgrade from there, until it gets to a pebble with Sally’s name on it and a glass butterfly.

Sadly, the competition backfires, although it’s well-displayed in the gifts and in the song “Sally, I Love You,” where Jemaine echoes all of Bret’s sentiments. It turns out that Sally has a boyfriend, a fiance, actually, and worst of all, he’s Australian. Coco also breaks up with Bret because it’s obvious to her that he still has feelings for Sally. The break-up is actually conveyed through Jemaine, and is undeniably the best conversation in the episode.

So, that’s the best I can come up with from memory. If there’s a part of the episode that I forgot and you love it, correct me and add it in a comment. I know that my mind isn’t perfect, but I think I hit just about everything. Oh, also, I love Rachel Blanchard. You should too.

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Once again, if you’d like to hear HBO’s synopsis (where I got this sweet pic of the camera-phone), click here. For my extremely detailed, never-watered-down synopsis, read on below…

If you ever wanted to find out the reason why so many New Zealanders are mugged in New York City,  this episode will provide you with the answer. In “Mugged,” Bret and Jemaine are instructed by Murray on how to navigate through New York. Some of his advice includes avoiding heavy traffic by going down back alleys, wearing bright orange reflective vest-belt-things, carrying a New York map everywhere, not to mention open, and wear New York hats and shirts…you know…to blend in.

It was really only a matter of time, with all this great advice, that the duo would risk getting mugged, which is exactly what happens. Luckily and unluckily for them, they don’t really have anything on them, except for Bret’s “Camera-phone,” which is literally a camera glued to a phone, that Bret made Jemaine for his birthday. In order to try and avoid getting mugged, the two sing…er….rap…the song, “Hip-hopapotamous vs. the Rhymenocerous.” It is a great gangsta rap, well, as good that New Zealand gangsta can get, I suppose. This song doesn’t really work, sadly, and the two are forced to flee from a knife. Bret manages to get away, but Jemaine gets stuck on a fence. Bret just leaves him there. Shoddy friend.

Later, we see Jemaine and one of the muggers in jail, and we find out that their respective friends have left them. Bret sends out a “search party,” consisting of Murray and Dave with a paintball gun, two days after Jemaine had been left. There is a tender moment in jail, and some guilt-tripping of Bret, not to mention the song “Think About It,” talking about horrible things that happen on the street, including children getting diseases from monkeys…you know, that silent epidemic and whatnot. Just horrible.

Although things are rough and Jemaine stays mad at Bret for a little while, surprisingly not for renting out the apartment to someone else, more for the whole running thing, everything gets sorted out by the end, and the two are friends again. The camera-phone even gets returned, with some pictures the mugger took with it, including, I believe, one of him robbing a place. Totally great, and the rap is one of my all-time favorite Conchord songs.

Coming up next, Song of the Day!

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I know I talked a little about Episode 1 before in the podcast post, but I didn’t put up anything like a plot synopsis, so her ya go… (To read HBO’s synopsis, click here)

So, this is obviously the pilot of Flight of the Conchords. Bret and Jemaine have just recently moved to New York, to Queens specifically, and they’re talking about girls Jemaine has dated in New Zealand. They go to a party at Dave’s, a guy who runs a pawn shop in town, and Jemaine sees a girl from across the room who he is attracted to instantly. This is when the song “The Most Beautiful Girl in the Room” plays. Jemaine invites Sally for a kebab and then over to his apartment. Hoewever, everything stops and Sally goes home after Bret turns on the light in his bedroom.

Jemain and Bret have a conversation in the morning about what made Sally leave. Jemaine thinks it was the light. Bret thinks it’s because he and Sally dated for 6 months. I wonder who was right. Anyway, there’s a montage where Jemaine takes Sally on a bunch of dates, and Bret gets mad about Jemaine wanting the apartment. Somewhere in the middle of all this the “Robots” song gets played, which is hilarity at its finest, although the duo is mad that they don’t look like Daft Punk.

Jemaine and Bret eventually go on a date together with Sally. It proves too awkward, though, and Bret leaves just before his duck comes. Jemaine and Sally are walking after dinner and Sally tells him that she doesn’t want to date anymore. Cue the song, “Not Crying,” a song describing how Jemaine is going to miss Sally and how Bret misses Jemaine. Very epic, very beautiful.

It is a great episode and a valuable lesson about dating an ex of a best friend. Usually, this is a bad practice. Thank you, FOTC, for keeping us educated.

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