A short schedule this week but a schedule all the same, right? Here is when you can expect to see FotC in the coming week…

• March 4: Episode 3: “Mugged”
  • 5:3o AM: HBO 2 East
  • 8:30 AM: HBO 2 West

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Post from: Conchord Crazy

• February 8: Episode 3 – “Mugged”
  • 5:30 AM: HBO High Def East
  • 5:30 AM: HBO Latino East
  • 5:30 AM: HBO East
  • 8:30 AM: HBO Latino West
  • 8:30 AM: HBO High Def West
  • 8:30 AM: HBO West
• February 8: Episode 11 – “The Actor”
  • 8:30 PM: HBO Zone East
  • 11:30 PM: HBO Zone West
    
    
• February 8: Episode 2 – “Bret Gives Up The Dream”
  • 10:30 PM: HBO2 East
    
    
• February 9: Episode 2 – “Bret Gives Up The Dream”
  • 1:30 AM: HBO2 West
  • 4:45 AM: HBO2 East
  • 7:45 AM: HBO2 West
  • 10 PM: HBO Comedy East
• February 10: Episode 2 – “Bret Gives Up The Dream”
  • 1 AM: HBO Comedy West
• February 10: Episode 3 – “Mugged”
  • 1:30 PM: HBO High Def East
  • 1:30 PM: HBO Latino East
  • 1:30 PM: HBO East
  • 4:30 PM: HBO Latino West
  • 4:30 PM HBO West
• February 10: Episode 11 – “The Actor”
  • 11 PM: HBO Zone East
    
    
• February 11:  Episode 11 – “The Actor”
  • 2 AM: HBO Zone West

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Post from: Conchord Crazy

Bret:

I’m the mother flippin’ Rhymenocerous
My beats are fly and the birds are on my back
And I’m horny

Both:

I’m horny

Bret:

If you choose to proceed you will indeed concede
Cos I hit you with my flow
The Wild Rhino Stampede.
I’m not just wild, I’m trained,
Domesticated
I was raised by a rapper and rhino that dated
And subsequently procreated
That’s how it goes
Here’s the Hiphopopotamus
The hip hop hippo

Jemaine:

They call me the Hiphopopotamus
My lyrics are bottomless
They call me the Hiphopopotamus
Flows that glow like phosphorous
Poppin’ off the top of this esophagus
Rockin’ this metropolis
I’m not a large water-dwelling mammal
Where did you get that preposterous hypothesis?
Did Steve tell you that, perchance?
Steve.

Bret:

My rhymes and records they don’t get played
Because my records and rhymes they don’t get made
And if you rap like me you don’t get paid
And if you roll like me you don’t get laid.

Jemaine:

My rhymes are so potent that in this small segment
I made all of the ladies in the area pregnant
Yes, sometimes my lyrics are sexist
But you lovely bitches and hoes should know I’m trying to correct this.

Bret:

Other rappers dis me
Say my rhymes are sissy.

Both:

Why? Why? Why?
What?
Why exactly?
What? Why?
Be more constructive with your feedback, please. Why?
Why?

Bret:

Why, because I rap about reality?
Like me and my grandma drinking a cup of tea?
There ain’t no party like my nanna’s tea party.
Hey! Ho!
Both:

I’m the motherflippin’
I’m the motherflippin’
I’m the motherflippin’
Who’s the motherflippin?
I’m the motherflippin’
I’m the motherflippin’
I’m the motherflippin’
Motherflippin’

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Post from: Conchord Crazy

Once again, if you’d like to hear HBO’s synopsis (where I got this sweet pic of the camera-phone), click here. For my extremely detailed, never-watered-down synopsis, read on below…

If you ever wanted to find out the reason why so many New Zealanders are mugged in New York City,  this episode will provide you with the answer. In “Mugged,” Bret and Jemaine are instructed by Murray on how to navigate through New York. Some of his advice includes avoiding heavy traffic by going down back alleys, wearing bright orange reflective vest-belt-things, carrying a New York map everywhere, not to mention open, and wear New York hats and shirts…you know…to blend in.

It was really only a matter of time, with all this great advice, that the duo would risk getting mugged, which is exactly what happens. Luckily and unluckily for them, they don’t really have anything on them, except for Bret’s “Camera-phone,” which is literally a camera glued to a phone, that Bret made Jemaine for his birthday. In order to try and avoid getting mugged, the two sing…er….rap…the song, “Hip-hopapotamous vs. the Rhymenocerous.” It is a great gangsta rap, well, as good that New Zealand gangsta can get, I suppose. This song doesn’t really work, sadly, and the two are forced to flee from a knife. Bret manages to get away, but Jemaine gets stuck on a fence. Bret just leaves him there. Shoddy friend.

Later, we see Jemaine and one of the muggers in jail, and we find out that their respective friends have left them. Bret sends out a “search party,” consisting of Murray and Dave with a paintball gun, two days after Jemaine had been left. There is a tender moment in jail, and some guilt-tripping of Bret, not to mention the song “Think About It,” talking about horrible things that happen on the street, including children getting diseases from monkeys…you know, that silent epidemic and whatnot. Just horrible.

Although things are rough and Jemaine stays mad at Bret for a little while, surprisingly not for renting out the apartment to someone else, more for the whole running thing, everything gets sorted out by the end, and the two are friends again. The camera-phone even gets returned, with some pictures the mugger took with it, including, I believe, one of him robbing a place. Totally great, and the rap is one of my all-time favorite Conchord songs.

Coming up next, Song of the Day!

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Post from: Conchord Crazy