I know, I know, that question is on the minds of everyone today. Never to fear, I have posted surefire songs that you can sing to your Valentine to elicit the response you want. (Not licensed to actually recommend songs, actual results may vary.)

• Business Time
  • When to Sing it: I think you know the answer to this. It is especially good for married couples or people who own oversized T-shirts and business socks.
  • How to Sing it: Channel Barry White. Make Jemaine proud.
  • Expected Response: It will be intense. In which direction, that I cannot predict for you.
• If You’re Into It
  • When to Sing it: If you haven’t been dating for all that long, and you’re not sure what they want from you, this is a good way to ask the question in song, and based on the reaction, you’ll be able to plan your next move for the romantic Valentine’s Day of her dreams.
  • How to Sing it: Sweet and cute, as to not come on too strong. If there’s a toy piano around, that could help the situation.
  • Expected Response: They will either think you are joking and just think you’re the funniest Valentine ever, or they will take you very seriously and get very turned on by this song. This is probably a win-win situation, so congrats for picking this tune.
• A Kiss Is Not A Contract
  • When To Sing it: You’re in a relationship, but you don’t want to be, and you decided that Valentine’s Day was the right day to put that plan into action. You’re an idiot. Okay, or, if you’re someone who doesn’t want to give it all up to a girl..or a guy, whatever, and you are not confident enough to express it in spoken words. This is also a good choice for you.
  • How to Sing it: Laying in a bed of flowers spinning and rotating and very mellow.
  • Expected Response: Probably anger. Don’t be near anything breakable or potentially pain-inducing.

These three songs really run the gamut of Valentine’s Day situations, in my opinion. If you have one to add, let me know!

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Post from: Conchord Crazy

Bret:
If you want me to
I could hang ’round with you
If I only knew
That’s what you’re into.

Jemaine:
You and him
Him and you
If that’s what
You’re into
Him hanging ’round
Around you
You’re hanging ’round
Yeah, you’re there too.

Bret:
All the things I’d do
The things I’d do for you
If I only knew
That’s what you’re into

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Post from: Conchord Crazy

Once again, for the HBO synopsis, click here. For my much more awesome synopsis, read below.

So, the episode starts with a proposition for a great tour of band rotundas by Murray. However, Bret isn’t having it because he’s going on a date with Coco, his new girlfriend. Jemaine tries to get out of it saying he met a girl at the video library, but Murray got him, clever Murray, since there’s no such thing as a video library.

We then get to see Bret and his ladyfriend at her apartment, wit the deliciously awkward ending to their date, where we find out that Jemaine has joined on in the date. It is a continuing theme during the episode hereafter. Sad, sad, Jemaine.

The next day we see the guys at the apartment where Bret sings his song for Coco to Jemaine. It’s two hours long, so Jemaine suggests that Bret shorten it, and also make it more realistic, to things that he would actually do instead of saying that he’d do things like climb the highest mountain and race the fastest animal. This is what gives birth to “If You’re Into It,” which is disputably my favorite song thus far.

You also get to see a fan club meeting in the episode, which is Mel….and that’s it. Murray provides pictures for the newsletter, including one that just “slipped in” with the others of him shirtless. Needless to say, Mel wasn’t interested. However, she was very interested in the fact that Bret had a girlfriend, so much that she broke her pencil in hidden anger. Never ceasing to put the “fan” in “fanatically crazy woman,” this may be Mel’s best display of fan obsession so far.

So, after the song “If You’re Into It,” there is a small montage of the Jemaine tag-along-ness, and Bret finally telling him he’s got to cut it out. This makes Jeamine mad and he calls her “Yoko” and slips “Ono” into his conversation during a band meeting. It ends with Bret throwing a sandwich at Jemaine’s face, which, quite honestly, made me explode with laughter.

Don’t despair about this discord, however, folks, because luckily there is a song to bring everyone together at the end….like tape does. Ironically and appropriately, the song sings about tape, and is even called “Sello Tape,” so you really can’t be confused by the meaning of the song or the imagery that is employed.

This is a great episode, fun had by all, please watch it and love it and tell me how you feel about it as well.

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Post from: Conchord Crazy