Ohhhh yes, this very well could be one of the best songs known to man. Needless to say, it’s tops in my book for a song about “Gettin’ it on.” It’s a lot more realistic than Lou Rawls or Barry White wanted to get. That’s really what makes it awesome. Anyway, the lyrics are below and my comments follow….

Jemaine:

Uhhhhh
Girl, tonight we’re gonna make love
You know how I know?
Because it’s Wednesday
And Wednesday night is the night that we usually make love
Tuesday night is the night that we usually go to your mother’s place an I show her how to use the video machine again
But Wednesday night is the night that we make love
It’s when everything is just right
You’re not too tired from your afterwork social netball team practice
There’s nothing good on TV
Mmm, conditions are perfect for making love
You turn to me and say something sexy like, “I might go to bed. I’ve got work in the morning.”
I know what you’re trying to say baby, you’re trying to say “Aww yeah, it’s business time.”

It’s business
It’s business time
I know what you’re trying to say you’re trying to say it’s time for business and it’s business time ooh
It’s business
It’s business time
Aww aww yeah yeah

The next thing you know we’re in the bathroom brushing our teeth
That’s all part of it, that’s foreplay
Foreplay is very important in lovemaking
Then you go sort out the recycling, which isn’t part of the foreplay, but it’s still very important
That’s not foreplay, but it’s still very important

The next think you know we’re in the bedroom
You’re wearin’ that same old ugly baggy T-shirt with the stain on it that you got from that team-building exercise you did for your old work several years ago
“Team Building Exercise ‘99.”

I take off my clothes
But I trip over my jeans ’cause I’m still wearing my shoes
But it’s okay because I turn it all into a sexy dance

The next think you know, I’m wearing absolutely nothing except for my socks
And you know when I’m down to my socks what time it is
It’s business time

It’s business
It’s business time
When I’m down to my socks it’s time for business tha’s why they’re called business socks, ooh
It’s business
It’s business time
Aww aww yeah yeah

Making love
Making love for
Making love for two
Making love for two minutes

When it’s with me, you only need two minutes girl, ’cause I’m so intense
Two minutes in heaven is better than one minute in heaven

You turn to me and say something sexy like, “Is that it?”
I know what you’re trying to say, girl, you’re trying to say, “Aw yeah, that’s it”
And then you tell me you want some more, well, uh, I’m not surprised
But I am quite sleepy

Mmm
It’s business
It’s business time
Business hours are over, baby
It’s business
It’s business time

So yeah, needless to say, this song was as phenomenon at my school. Everyone knew it, seemingly, even if they hadn’t seen the show before, so it’s a great song to introduce to people to get them interested in FotC. It will work, I promise you. A lot of my college friends are living proof that “Business Time” brings people together in the unifying love that is Flight of the Conchords. Also, this is a killer awesome song for you to listen to with your significant other. My boyfriend and I sing it to each other all the time. Just, you know, if you catch them wearing business socks, let them know that the song has influenced them too much, and in a bad way. Yeah.

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Once again, if you’d like the HBO Synopsis (and the link to this picture) click here. My synopsis follows….the better synopsis. Kind of like pork is the other white meat. Except I don’t eat pork. And they say other, and not better. Okay, so my reference sucks, but my summary is better, I promise!

So, this is the oh-so-rare occasion where I’m not actually watching the episode to give a synopsis, so I’ll do this the best I can with what I remember. It’s been a while since we’ve seen Sally, and all of a sudden, she’s back and Jemaine sees her in a laundromat. They start talking a bit, and Sally mentions how she wants to settle down someday. This is when “Business Time” starts, one of the greatest songs in the Conchords repertoire. Jemaine is imagining his life with Sally, and it’s definitely a typical, realistic view of what happens after two people are married after a while….or at least, what everyone dreads is going to happen, however, Jemaine seems to idealize this idea.

The two start hanging out again, but Sally insists that Jemaine needs to get his own place and not live with Bret anymore, so he does just that. He moves into a very swanky apartment complex….although his apartment isn’t quite matching the building. He actually moves into a janitor’s closet. Jemaine later talks about hosting a party on the weekend.

Bret gets, well, let’s say, miffed at all these new arrangements. First of all, Jemaine has left him to move somewhere else, and the other reason is Sally, whom Bret dated for like 6 months. He starts to get jealous and shows his feelings for Sally, although he’s still dating Coco. Sally’s birthday is coming up, so Bret and Jemaine both compete to make something that Sally will love. Bret comes up with a song, Jemaine comes up with an amazing paper cut-out card. The two upgrade from there, until it gets to a pebble with Sally’s name on it and a glass butterfly.

Sadly, the competition backfires, although it’s well-displayed in the gifts and in the song “Sally, I Love You,” where Jemaine echoes all of Bret’s sentiments. It turns out that Sally has a boyfriend, a fiance, actually, and worst of all, he’s Australian. Coco also breaks up with Bret because it’s obvious to her that he still has feelings for Sally. The break-up is actually conveyed through Jemaine, and is undeniably the best conversation in the episode.

So, that’s the best I can come up with from memory. If there’s a part of the episode that I forgot and you love it, correct me and add it in a comment. I know that my mind isn’t perfect, but I think I hit just about everything. Oh, also, I love Rachel Blanchard. You should too.

Post from: Conchord Crazy

Yay, it’s time for my first “Song of the Day” installment. Now, today, we’ll be talking about the song “The Most Beautiful Girl in the Room,” also known as “Part-Time Model”. First, here are the lyrics to the song…and who sings what part…

Jemaine: Looking ‘round the room, I can tell that you,
Are the most beautiful girl, in the room.
Bret: In the whole wide room
Jemaine: And when you’re on the street, depending on the street,
I bet that you are definitely, in the top three,
Good looking girls on the street
Bret: Depending on the street
Jemaine: And when I saw you at my mate’s place I thought, “What is she doing at my mate’s place?
How did Dave get, a hottie like that, o a party like this? Good work, Dave.”
Bret: Ooh, you’re a legend, Dave.
Jemaine: I ask Dave if he’s gonna make a move on you, he’s not sure, I say, “Dave, do you mind if I do?”
He says he doesn’t mind, but I can tell he kinda minds, but I’m gonna do it anyway
I see you standing all alone by the stereo, I dim the lights down very low, here we go
Both: You’re so beautiful, you could be a waitress
You’re so beautiful, you could be an air hostess in the ‘60’s
You’re so beautiful, you could be a part-time model
Jemaine: And then I seal the deal, I do my moves, I do my dance moves
Both: It’s 12:02, just me and you, and seven other dudes, around you on the dance floor
I draw you near, let’s get out of here, let’s get in a cab, I’ll buy you a kebab
I can’t believe, that I’m sharing a kebab, with the most beautiful girl, I have ever seen with a kebab
Ooooh
Why don’t we leave? We can go to my house, and we can feel each other up on the couch
Oh no, I don’t mind taking it slow, No-o-o,
‘Cause you’re so beautiful,
Jemaine: Like a tree, or a high-class prostitute
Both: You’re so beautiful, you could be a part-time model
Jemaine: But you’d probably still have to keep your normal job
Both: A part-time model
Jemaine: Spending part of your time modeling, and part of your time next to me-e-e-e-e-e-e,
My place is usually tidier than this.

Some features of this song: Extreme close-ups of Jemaine. Misinterpreted conversation with Dave. Great-looking kebabs. Rachel Blanchard. Scenes at a party, a kebab place and the duo’s apartment.

My favorite parts of the song: “You could be an airline stewardess from the sixties” and “I bet you are definitely in the top three, good looking girls on the street, depending on the street.” So honest, so obscure, so I love it.

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Post from: Conchord Crazy

I know I talked a little about Episode 1 before in the podcast post, but I didn’t put up anything like a plot synopsis, so her ya go… (To read HBO’s synopsis, click here)

So, this is obviously the pilot of Flight of the Conchords. Bret and Jemaine have just recently moved to New York, to Queens specifically, and they’re talking about girls Jemaine has dated in New Zealand. They go to a party at Dave’s, a guy who runs a pawn shop in town, and Jemaine sees a girl from across the room who he is attracted to instantly. This is when the song “The Most Beautiful Girl in the Room” plays. Jemaine invites Sally for a kebab and then over to his apartment. Hoewever, everything stops and Sally goes home after Bret turns on the light in his bedroom.

Jemain and Bret have a conversation in the morning about what made Sally leave. Jemaine thinks it was the light. Bret thinks it’s because he and Sally dated for 6 months. I wonder who was right. Anyway, there’s a montage where Jemaine takes Sally on a bunch of dates, and Bret gets mad about Jemaine wanting the apartment. Somewhere in the middle of all this the “Robots” song gets played, which is hilarity at its finest, although the duo is mad that they don’t look like Daft Punk.

Jemaine and Bret eventually go on a date together with Sally. It proves too awkward, though, and Bret leaves just before his duck comes. Jemaine and Sally are walking after dinner and Sally tells him that she doesn’t want to date anymore. Cue the song, “Not Crying,” a song describing how Jemaine is going to miss Sally and how Bret misses Jemaine. Very epic, very beautiful.

It is a great episode and a valuable lesson about dating an ex of a best friend. Usually, this is a bad practice. Thank you, FOTC, for keeping us educated.

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So, if you watched the first episode by some kind of means like I told you to, then good for you! This also means that you saw Sally, played by Rachel Blanchard. You may have looked at her and thought, hmm, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen her before. Well, you would be absolutely right. Here are a few things you have seen her on besides FOTC, brought to you by IMDB…

• Between 2002 and 2004, Blanchard was on “Seventh Heaven“, playing Roxanne Richardson.
• If you were a fan of Clueless and you saw the TV show based on the movie, you would have seen her playing Cher…around 1996-1999.
• Sugar & Spice, a movie in 2001 about a bunch of cheerleaders that are thieves, was another movie where Blanchard got to stretch her Clueless-type muscle.
• If you grew up in the 90’s, you may remember seeing Blanchard as a little tyke on “Are You Afraid of the Dark?”

This Toronto native also has two movies in post-production, and one TV movie coming out, so she’s not going anywhere anytime soon. Check her out!

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