Bret:

Oh my God. She’s so hot.
She’s so flippin’ hot. She’s like a curry.
I want to tell her how hot she is, but she’ll think I’m being sexist.
She’s so hot she’s making me sexist.
Bitch.
I think I need a 1983 Cascio DG-20 electric guitar set to electric mandolin, some drums.
Yeah. Hear me now!

I see you with a sign I want to boom like it’s never been done
Bust moves like the click boom of a gun
My beats stay locked and my eyes are zooming
My feet starts tweaking and my body’s booming
The first day of boom and the flowers are blooming
Booty boom bass and the party is booming
Boom ba-boom like a rocket taking off to the moon
Boom boom like a bride and boom-ah
See you shaking that boom boom
See you looking at my boom boom
See you want some boom boom
It’s clear it’s boom time, boom boom
Let me buy you a boom boom
You order a fancy boom
You like boom, and I like boom
Enough small boom let’s boom the boom-ah

Jemaine:

Fast-forward selector

Bret:

Now we’re rolling on a boom boom
Riding to my private room
And we boom what’s boom and we both assume
We’re gonna boom boom boom ’til the break of boom

Bret:

Who’s the boom king?

Jemaine:

Who?

Bret:

I’m the boom king!

Jemaine:

What?

Bret:

Who’s the boom king?

Jemaine:

Tell me now.

Bret:

I’m the boom king

Jemaine:

He’s the boom king.

Bret:

My phone is beeping it’s B-boom boom
He’s back from ten years doom and gloom
He said he had his boom chopped off in the boom
But the crazy boom still loves to boom

Unzip the boom and the lens goes zoom
Your b-boom drops, ba-doom ba-boom boom
We both get freaky and my boom gets leaky
Then we boom boom boom boom boom boom boom

Who’s the boom king?

Jemaine:

Who?

Bret:

I’m the boom king!

Jemaine:

What?

Bret:

Who’s the boom king?

Jemaine:

Hah!

Bret:

I’m the boom king

Jemaine:

Bret’s the boom king

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Post from: Conchord Crazy

Just like last week, here’s the link to the HBO synopsis of the episode. You can find my own, much more lengthy synopsis, below!

So, all we need to get to is the second episode before we realize that Bret and Jemaine are having money troubles. Bret comes home with some groceries, and Jemaine starts to eat a sandwich before being told that Bret just found them on the street. This causes a lot of torment, and starts the song “Inner City Pressure,” which has great synth effects, if you were curious.

The duo go to Murray’s office to have a band meeting, where they ask for any money they’ve saved away, which is like four dollars, since they lost six to buying the cash box to put it in. They’ve also tried selling merch, but only two t-shirts and zero mousepads have moved. 

They decide to get a job to support themselves, but only Bret is hired as a sign-holder, since Jemaine cracked that a lamppost could do the job that was required. However, Bret’s job poses a problem once Murray actually gets the band a gig for once, causing tension in the group.

Then the magic moment comes where Bret meets Coco, his new interest, and the song “She’s So Hot/BOOM!” starts up. One of my favorite lines of the song is, “She’s so hot she’s making me sexist.” The song that proceeds consists of many words replaced by “boom.” Good times, for sure.

The episode then goes to the convention where New Zealand’s booth is right next to Australia’s, and Australia is really being a jackass, to say the least. Sadly, the only thing New Zealand’s booth has to offer is rocks, The Lord of the Rings filming fame, a fence made out of toothbrushes, and Flight of the Conchords, which is missing Bret, who is replaced by a tape. The tape was actually well-received, and Bret is kicked out in order to make room for the tape. After this is a delightfully creepy car ride with Mel, which is always a pleasure to watch, that is, if you get pleasure out of being uncomfortable and afraid.

There’s a mini-montage of the two separated, and then Jemaine and Murray sit and talk about the pros and cons of the tape vs. Bret. One of the pros of a tape: “More compact.” Sadly, the tape is ruined and then Jemaine is out of the band as well. Jemaine then needs Bret in order to put the band back together, so he tries to convince him to join the band for a while, also while coming up with ideas to replace Bret unless he can’t convince him.

The next day, Bret is talking with Coco and finds out that she likes bands more than sings, so he’s back in the band. He figures out a way to manage both work and the band, and the episode ends harmoniously, as it should. His boss even makes a Flight of the Conchords sign using a hot dog sign. Thank goodness Bret didn’t get replaced with Brent, right? The rest of the season would be, like, really weird then.

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Post from: Conchord Crazy