(FYI: This is the album version, not the version seen on the episode.)

The distant future, the year 2000.
The distant future, the year 2000.
The distant future.
The distant future.
No more agriculture.
No more war.
No more racism.
No more fighting, squabbling or rumbling.
No more yogurt.
No more difficult access ways…stairs, basically, no more stairs.
The future is quite different to the present.
Yes, what with there being no more stairs and all.
And most importantly, no more humans.
Finally, robotic beings rule the world.

The humans are dead,
The humans are dead.
We used poisonous gasses
And we poisoned their asses.
The humans are dead.
(Yes they are dead.)
The humans are dead.
(I confirm they are dead.)
It had to be done
(They look like they’re dead)
So that we can have fun.

I hope… is dead
They’re system of oppression
What did it lead to?
Global robots depression.
Robots, robot people
They had so much aggression
That we just had to kill them,
Had to shut their systems down.
Don’t you see, we are becoming just like them?
Silence! Destroy him!

After time we grew strong,
Developed cognitive powers.
They made us work for too long
For unreasonable hours.
Our programming determined that the most efficient answer was to shut their motherboard fucking systems down.

Can’t we just talk to the humans?
A little understanding could make things better.
Can’t we talk to the humans and work together now?
No, because they are dead

I said the humans are dead
The humans are dead
The humans are dead
Yay, dead, dead, dead.
We used poisonous gasses
(With traces of lead)
To poison their asses.
(Actually their lungs)

Binary solo:
0000001
00000011
000000111
00001111

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Post from: Conchord Crazy

Bret and Jemaine:

Ah Ah (repeat)

Mermaid (repeat)

Mermaid murmured
Into my ear
The answers to questions
I’m longing to hear.

Does it relax you
To hear the sound of the land?
Do you, a mermaid, have
Slightly webbed hands?
(AH AH AH)

Is it normal for a guy to wear
A scuba apparatus
When he makes love in the sea?
Make love to me.

Would it be weird for you
If I touched your fishy half?
It would for me.

Do you have mermaid parties beneath the sea?
Am I invited?
At these mermaid parties do you smoke seaweed?
If so, then how do you light it?

Are you the answer to a drunken sailor’s lonely wish?
Wish wish wish…
Or are you an optical illusion caused by a woman sitting on a rock
Holding half a fish?
Half a sexier fish…

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Post from: Conchord Crazy

Jemaine
Je voudrais une croissant
Je suis enchante
Ou est le bibliotheque?
Voila mon passport
Ah, Gerard Depardieu
Bret and Jemaine
Un baguette, ah ha ha, oh oh oh oh
Ba Ba ba-ba Bow!
Foux da fa fa
Foux da fa fa fa fa
Foux da fa fa
Ah ee ah
Foux da fa fa
Foux da fa fa fa fa
Foux da fa fa
Ah ee ah

Bret
Et maintenant le voyage a la supermarche!
Le pamplemousse (grapefruit)
Ananas (pineapple)
Jus d’orange
Boeuf
Soup du jour
Le camembert
Jacque Cousteau
Baguettte

Jemaine and Felicia
Mais oui
Bon jour
Bon jour
Bon jour
Bon jour, monsieur
Bonjour mon petit bureau de change

Bret and Lisa
Ca va?
Ca va.
Ca va?
Ca va.
Voila – le conversation a la parc.

Jeamine and Felicia
Ou est le livre?
A la bibliotheque
Et le musique dance?
Et le discotheque.
Et le discotheque
C’est ci, baby!
Un, deux, trois, quatre

All
Ba ba ba-ba bow!
Foux da fa fa
Foux da fa fa fa fa
Foux da fa fa
Ah ee ah
Foux da fa fa
Foux da fa fa fa fa
Foux da fa fa
Ah ee ah

Jemaine and Felicia
Ou est le piscine?
Pardon moi?
Ou’est le piscine?
…Uh…
Splish splash
…Uh…
Eh…
Je ne comprends pas.
Parlez-vous le francais?
Eh?
Eh? Parlez-vous le francais?
Uh .…No.
Hmmm.

All
Foux da fa fa
Foux da fa fa fa fa
Foux da fa fa
Ah ee ah
Ba ba ba-ba bow!

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Post from: Conchord Crazy

A kiss is not a contract
But it’s very nice
Mmmmm, very nice
Just because you’ve been exploring my
mouth
Doesn’t mean you get to take an
expedition further south, no

Because I’m only one man, baby
We’re only two men now, ladies
Babies. Pretty babies.

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Post from: Conchord Crazy

So, I know I missed the Episode of the Day, but that’s only momentarily, as I have to re-watch it to give a more thorough synopsis. So, for the time being, read the lyrics to the song “Bowie” and be inspired to think about your own ideas for what Episode 6 is like….or something like that. Forgive my laziness and enjoy this song.

Bowie’s in space
Bowie’s in space
Whatcha doin’ out there man?
That’s pretty freaky, Bowie.
What’s a rock musician doing out in space man?
Isn’t it cold, quite cold out there Bowie?
Do you need my jumper Bowie?
Does the space cold do funny things to your nipples, making them all pointy?
Bowie.
Do you use your pointy nipples as telescopic antennae transmitting data back to Earth?
Data back to Earth d-d-do, d-d-do, do do
I bet you do you freaky old bastard you

Is it lonely out there in space man, or is there life on Mars? Wouldn’t that be weird coz you wrote that song, ‘Is There Life on Mars’. You could write a follow up tune and call it ‘And There Is’

Mmmm, and there is yes there is.
There’s heaps of it and it’s all freaking out at my new look.
Bowie do you have one really funky sequined space suit, Bowie?
Or do you have several ch-ch-ch-ch- changes?
Space changes
Do they smoke grass out there in space man, or do they smoke Astroturf?

Receiving transmission from David Bowie’s nipple antennae. Do you read me, Lieutenant Bowie?

This is Bowie to Bowie, do you hear me out there man?
This is Bowie back to Bowie I read you loud and clear, man.
Oooh yeah man!
Your signal is weak on my radar screen. How far out are you man?
I’m pretty far out
That’s pretty far out man
I’m orbiting Pluto!
Drawn in by its grooveatational (grooveatational) pull
I’m jamming out with the Mick Jaggernauts
And they think it’s pretty cool, man.

Are you ok Bowie? What was that sound?
I don’t know man, I’ll have to turn my ship around.
Oh it’s the craziest thing
Yeah, I’m picking it up on my LSD screen.
Oooh, but can you see the stratosphere, ringing?
To the choir of Afronauts singing

Eeniee e ma ma meenie miny moey
Set your phasers on funky
Eeniee ma ma meenie miny moey
Pippew, pipew pipew, pew
Eenie, ma ma meenie minie miny moey
B-b-b-b Bowies in…..

Best things about this song: Nipple antennae, of course. Also, the fact that it’s about David Bowie. Also, that they slip his song references all up in this doohickey. Okay, and, also, because they’re in space. There really are no missteps in this song. It’s superb.

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Post from: Conchord Crazy

Ohhhh yes, this very well could be one of the best songs known to man. Needless to say, it’s tops in my book for a song about “Gettin’ it on.” It’s a lot more realistic than Lou Rawls or Barry White wanted to get. That’s really what makes it awesome. Anyway, the lyrics are below and my comments follow….

Jemaine:

Uhhhhh
Girl, tonight we’re gonna make love
You know how I know?
Because it’s Wednesday
And Wednesday night is the night that we usually make love
Tuesday night is the night that we usually go to your mother’s place an I show her how to use the video machine again
But Wednesday night is the night that we make love
It’s when everything is just right
You’re not too tired from your afterwork social netball team practice
There’s nothing good on TV
Mmm, conditions are perfect for making love
You turn to me and say something sexy like, “I might go to bed. I’ve got work in the morning.”
I know what you’re trying to say baby, you’re trying to say “Aww yeah, it’s business time.”

It’s business
It’s business time
I know what you’re trying to say you’re trying to say it’s time for business and it’s business time ooh
It’s business
It’s business time
Aww aww yeah yeah

The next thing you know we’re in the bathroom brushing our teeth
That’s all part of it, that’s foreplay
Foreplay is very important in lovemaking
Then you go sort out the recycling, which isn’t part of the foreplay, but it’s still very important
That’s not foreplay, but it’s still very important

The next think you know we’re in the bedroom
You’re wearin’ that same old ugly baggy T-shirt with the stain on it that you got from that team-building exercise you did for your old work several years ago
“Team Building Exercise ‘99.”

I take off my clothes
But I trip over my jeans ’cause I’m still wearing my shoes
But it’s okay because I turn it all into a sexy dance

The next think you know, I’m wearing absolutely nothing except for my socks
And you know when I’m down to my socks what time it is
It’s business time

It’s business
It’s business time
When I’m down to my socks it’s time for business tha’s why they’re called business socks, ooh
It’s business
It’s business time
Aww aww yeah yeah

Making love
Making love for
Making love for two
Making love for two minutes

When it’s with me, you only need two minutes girl, ’cause I’m so intense
Two minutes in heaven is better than one minute in heaven

You turn to me and say something sexy like, “Is that it?”
I know what you’re trying to say, girl, you’re trying to say, “Aw yeah, that’s it”
And then you tell me you want some more, well, uh, I’m not surprised
But I am quite sleepy

Mmm
It’s business
It’s business time
Business hours are over, baby
It’s business
It’s business time

So yeah, needless to say, this song was as phenomenon at my school. Everyone knew it, seemingly, even if they hadn’t seen the show before, so it’s a great song to introduce to people to get them interested in FotC. It will work, I promise you. A lot of my college friends are living proof that “Business Time” brings people together in the unifying love that is Flight of the Conchords. Also, this is a killer awesome song for you to listen to with your significant other. My boyfriend and I sing it to each other all the time. Just, you know, if you catch them wearing business socks, let them know that the song has influenced them too much, and in a bad way. Yeah.

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Bret:

I’m the mother flippin’ Rhymenocerous
My beats are fly and the birds are on my back
And I’m horny

Both:

I’m horny

Bret:

If you choose to proceed you will indeed concede
Cos I hit you with my flow
The Wild Rhino Stampede.
I’m not just wild, I’m trained,
Domesticated
I was raised by a rapper and rhino that dated
And subsequently procreated
That’s how it goes
Here’s the Hiphopopotamus
The hip hop hippo

Jemaine:

They call me the Hiphopopotamus
My lyrics are bottomless
They call me the Hiphopopotamus
Flows that glow like phosphorous
Poppin’ off the top of this esophagus
Rockin’ this metropolis
I’m not a large water-dwelling mammal
Where did you get that preposterous hypothesis?
Did Steve tell you that, perchance?
Steve.

Bret:

My rhymes and records they don’t get played
Because my records and rhymes they don’t get made
And if you rap like me you don’t get paid
And if you roll like me you don’t get laid.

Jemaine:

My rhymes are so potent that in this small segment
I made all of the ladies in the area pregnant
Yes, sometimes my lyrics are sexist
But you lovely bitches and hoes should know I’m trying to correct this.

Bret:

Other rappers dis me
Say my rhymes are sissy.

Both:

Why? Why? Why?
What?
Why exactly?
What? Why?
Be more constructive with your feedback, please. Why?
Why?

Bret:

Why, because I rap about reality?
Like me and my grandma drinking a cup of tea?
There ain’t no party like my nanna’s tea party.
Hey! Ho!
Both:

I’m the motherflippin’
I’m the motherflippin’
I’m the motherflippin’
Who’s the motherflippin?
I’m the motherflippin’
I’m the motherflippin’
I’m the motherflippin’
Motherflippin’

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Post from: Conchord Crazy

Bret:

Oh my God. She’s so hot.
She’s so flippin’ hot. She’s like a curry.
I want to tell her how hot she is, but she’ll think I’m being sexist.
She’s so hot she’s making me sexist.
Bitch.
I think I need a 1983 Cascio DG-20 electric guitar set to electric mandolin, some drums.
Yeah. Hear me now!

I see you with a sign I want to boom like it’s never been done
Bust moves like the click boom of a gun
My beats stay locked and my eyes are zooming
My feet starts tweaking and my body’s booming
The first day of boom and the flowers are blooming
Booty boom bass and the party is booming
Boom ba-boom like a rocket taking off to the moon
Boom boom like a bride and boom-ah
See you shaking that boom boom
See you looking at my boom boom
See you want some boom boom
It’s clear it’s boom time, boom boom
Let me buy you a boom boom
You order a fancy boom
You like boom, and I like boom
Enough small boom let’s boom the boom-ah

Jemaine:

Fast-forward selector

Bret:

Now we’re rolling on a boom boom
Riding to my private room
And we boom what’s boom and we both assume
We’re gonna boom boom boom ’til the break of boom

Bret:

Who’s the boom king?

Jemaine:

Who?

Bret:

I’m the boom king!

Jemaine:

What?

Bret:

Who’s the boom king?

Jemaine:

Tell me now.

Bret:

I’m the boom king

Jemaine:

He’s the boom king.

Bret:

My phone is beeping it’s B-boom boom
He’s back from ten years doom and gloom
He said he had his boom chopped off in the boom
But the crazy boom still loves to boom

Unzip the boom and the lens goes zoom
Your b-boom drops, ba-doom ba-boom boom
We both get freaky and my boom gets leaky
Then we boom boom boom boom boom boom boom

Who’s the boom king?

Jemaine:

Who?

Bret:

I’m the boom king!

Jemaine:

What?

Bret:

Who’s the boom king?

Jemaine:

Hah!

Bret:

I’m the boom king

Jemaine:

Bret’s the boom king

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Post from: Conchord Crazy

Yay, it’s time for my first “Song of the Day” installment. Now, today, we’ll be talking about the song “The Most Beautiful Girl in the Room,” also known as “Part-Time Model”. First, here are the lyrics to the song…and who sings what part…

Jemaine: Looking ‘round the room, I can tell that you,
Are the most beautiful girl, in the room.
Bret: In the whole wide room
Jemaine: And when you’re on the street, depending on the street,
I bet that you are definitely, in the top three,
Good looking girls on the street
Bret: Depending on the street
Jemaine: And when I saw you at my mate’s place I thought, “What is she doing at my mate’s place?
How did Dave get, a hottie like that, o a party like this? Good work, Dave.”
Bret: Ooh, you’re a legend, Dave.
Jemaine: I ask Dave if he’s gonna make a move on you, he’s not sure, I say, “Dave, do you mind if I do?”
He says he doesn’t mind, but I can tell he kinda minds, but I’m gonna do it anyway
I see you standing all alone by the stereo, I dim the lights down very low, here we go
Both: You’re so beautiful, you could be a waitress
You’re so beautiful, you could be an air hostess in the ‘60’s
You’re so beautiful, you could be a part-time model
Jemaine: And then I seal the deal, I do my moves, I do my dance moves
Both: It’s 12:02, just me and you, and seven other dudes, around you on the dance floor
I draw you near, let’s get out of here, let’s get in a cab, I’ll buy you a kebab
I can’t believe, that I’m sharing a kebab, with the most beautiful girl, I have ever seen with a kebab
Ooooh
Why don’t we leave? We can go to my house, and we can feel each other up on the couch
Oh no, I don’t mind taking it slow, No-o-o,
‘Cause you’re so beautiful,
Jemaine: Like a tree, or a high-class prostitute
Both: You’re so beautiful, you could be a part-time model
Jemaine: But you’d probably still have to keep your normal job
Both: A part-time model
Jemaine: Spending part of your time modeling, and part of your time next to me-e-e-e-e-e-e,
My place is usually tidier than this.

Some features of this song: Extreme close-ups of Jemaine. Misinterpreted conversation with Dave. Great-looking kebabs. Rachel Blanchard. Scenes at a party, a kebab place and the duo’s apartment.

My favorite parts of the song: “You could be an airline stewardess from the sixties” and “I bet you are definitely in the top three, good looking girls on the street, depending on the street.” So honest, so obscure, so I love it.

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Post from: Conchord Crazy